Masturbation, Autism and Learning Disabilities

Understanding Masturbation As Normal Human Behavior

Masturbation is touching and stimulating one’s own genitals for sexual arousal and pleasure. This is a completely normal human behavior that people with Autism and learning disabilities experience identically to the general population. Research shows 78% of males and 41% of females masturbate, with average starting age around 14 years old, though it can begin earlier during puberty.

There is no legal minimum age for private masturbation in the UK. Sexual offence laws only address behavior involving or affecting other people. Article 8 of the Human Rights Act 1988 enshrines the right to respect for private and family life—meaning everyone, regardless of disability, has a fundamental right to masturbate in private. This right can only be legitimately intervened with if the person negatively impacts others, creating a balance between individual rights and collective responsibility.

The Sexual Offences Act 2003 governs public sexual behavior, making it illegal to masturbate in public places including school toilets, which are legally defined as public spaces. Professionals facilitating inappropriate masturbation could face prosecution under this legislation.

Because solo masturbation involves no other person, a person’s capacity to consent to partnered sexual activity is legally irrelevant to their right to solo masturbation. Even individuals lacking capacity to consent to sex with partners retain the right to masturbate alone in private. Professionals must presume capacity unless proven otherwise through functional Assessment under the Mental Capacity Act 2005.

Physical and Psychological Benefits

Sexual and Emotional Benefits

  • Sexual pleasure and relief from sexual frustration
  • Ability to manage sexual urges and delay sex with others
  • Improved ownership and knowledge of one’s body, enabling early detection of health issues
  • Opportunity to safely explore sexual pleasure before partnering with others
  • Development of comfort with one’s own sexuality

Health Benefits

  • Pain relief through orgasm-released hormones (serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins)
  • Improved sleep quality and reduced stress/Anxiety
  • Potential prostate cancer prevention
  • Relief of behavioral problems through self-soothing

Developmental Benefits

For people with learning disabilities and autism, masturbation provides sensory regulation, emotional regulation, and serves legitimate needs for both sexual pleasure and Anxiety management.

Puberty and Physical Development

Universal Pubertal Changes

  • Body shape changes and pubic/body hair growth
  • Increased sweating and acne development
  • Development of fertility capacity
  • Strong emotions and mood swings
  • Formation of romantic/sexual attraction

Female-Specific Changes

  • Breasts and nipples grow and become sensitive
  • Vaginal discharge begins (normal and healthy)
  • Monthly ovulation cycles (menstruation) commence

Male-Specific Changes

  • Testicles and penis enlarge
  • Sperm and semen production begins
  • Spontaneous erections and wet dreams occur
  • Voice deepens and facial/body hair grows

Critical understanding: Social understanding often lags significantly behind physical development. A person may have a fully developed adult body experiencing adult sexual urges while having the emotional/cognitive understanding of a much younger child.

Public and Private Distinction

This is the single most critical concept for appropriate sexual behavior.

Private Body Parts

Areas normally covered by underwear or swimsuit (genitals, breasts, buttocks) and areas from which bodily fluids emerge. These body parts have special rules—touching them is only appropriate privately.

Private Places

Genuinely private places include:

  • Personal bedroom (if not shared)
  • Personal bathroom with lockable door
  • Spaces with “Alone Time” signs (not “Private” which may confuse)

Places that are NOT private:

  • School/college/work toilets (legally defined as public)
  • Shared bedrooms
  • Public toilets
  • Family rooms or common areas

Teaching Strategies

Integrate public/private distinction into everyday activities. Throughout the day, ask “Is this public or private?” during classroom activities, community trips, and routine situations. Use social stories and visual supports showing photographs of locations.

Illegal Behaviors

  • Masturbating in public toilets - Illegal under Sexual Offences Act 2003 Section 71
  • Masturbating in public places - Illegal under Section 66 (England & Wales)
  • Hand-on-hand teaching - Explicitly illegal under Section 38, regardless of intent

Professional Boundary Violations

Professionals cannot:

  • Touch a person’s genitals directly
  • Engage in hand-over-hand genital stimulation
  • Provide direct masturbation instruction through touch
  • Continue non-sexual touch after noting sexual response

Fraser Guidelines

Allow confidential sexual health advice and treatment for under-16s without parental consent if:

  • The young person has sufficient maturity and intelligence
  • Cannot be persuaded to tell parents
  • Is likely to continue sexual activity without treatment
  • Their health would suffer without treatment

Practical Techniques for Masturbation

Before Masturbating

  • Be in a private place (bedroom or bathroom)
  • Ensure sufficient uninterrupted time
  • Have needed materials (lubricant, tissues, wipes)
  • Wash hands beforehand
  • Display privacy sign if using one

For Penis/testicle Masturbation

  • Use hands to hold and move penis up/down with varying grip
  • The head (glans) has highest nerve concentration
  • Testicles and nipples can also be touched
  • Water-based lubricant reduces soreness
  • Different body positions provide varied sensations

For Vulva/breast Masturbation

  • Use fingers to stimulate clitoris and vulva with varied movements
  • Clitoris has most nerve endings
  • Gentle internal finger exploration is safe
  • Breasts and nipples can be stimulated
  • Water-based lubricant is recommended

For Anal Masturbation

  • Anus has many nerve endings
  • Careful lubrication is essential
  • Use only sex toys designed for anal use
  • Critical safety: Never transfer from anus to vagina/mouth without cleaning

Afterwards

  • Clean up all body fluids and lubricant
  • Wash hands
  • Clean and safely store sex toys
  • Remove privacy markers

Distinguishing Masturbation from Other Self-Touching

Medical Causes Mistaken for Masturbation

  • Thrush - Causes intense itching and soreness
  • Threadworms - Common infection causing itchy bottom
  • Urinary tract infections - Cause holding genitals to prevent painful urination
  • STIs - Itching, sores, rashes, unusual discharge
  • Balanitis - Penis head irritation
  • Tight foreskin - Causes pain and swelling

Non-Sexual Self-Touch Purposes

  • Sensory regulation - Autism-related Sensory needs
  • Anxiety management - Self-soothing behavior
  • Attention-seeking - Behavior that gets caregiver response

Language and Communication Strategy

Why Clinical Language Matters

People with autism and learning disabilities often interpret words literally and don’t understand euphemisms. Using clinical terms ensures precise communication and enables abuse disclosure.

Examples of Clinical Vs. Slang Language

  • “Masturbating the penis while wearing a condom” instead of “posh wank”
  • “Using fingers to stimulate the clitoris for sexual pleasure” instead of “flicking the bean”

Gender-Inclusive Language

Remove gender from explanations by referring to body parts rather than assuming gender based on anatomy.

Education Approach for Parents and Professionals

Needs Assessment

Before planning education, assess what the person already knows through:

  • Individual/group discussion
  • Questionnaires and knowledge continuums
  • Games and activities

Creating Safe Educational Space

  • Deliver in private spaces without interruptions
  • Ensure sufficient time and comfortable environment
  • Use door signs and manage interruptions proactively
  • Check participant comfort regularly

Developmental Sequence

  1. Introductions and knowledge Assessment
  2. Body parts (public vs. Private)
  3. Public vs. Private places
  4. Public vs. Private behaviors
  5. Masturbation definition and techniques
  6. Individual rights and responsibilities
  7. Conclusion and action planning

Practical Educational Activities

Masturbation Brainstorm

Participants list terminology for male and female masturbation, discussing language differences and normalizing varied vocabulary.

Public and Private Places Categorization

Using photographs and drawings, participants categorize locations as public or private, explicitly teaching that public toilets including school toilets are illegal for masturbation.

Social Stories

Sequenced cards create narratives about body development, appropriate behavior, and practical guidance for cleaning up and knowing when to seek help.

Responding to Inappropriate Masturbation

Immediate Response

  1. Address calmly without shame
  2. Redirect to private location
  3. Provide education about public/private
  4. Ensure private space/time is available
  5. Check for underlying medical causes

In School/workplace Settings

When students request private time in school toilets, explain clearly that school toilets are public spaces, not private places. Teach that toilets are for toileting only; masturbation requires genuine privacy.

Loss of Freedom Consequence

If someone masturbates in public, they may lose independent unsupervised access to public places, significantly limiting freedom and independence. Early intervention prevents lifelong restrictions.

Managing Special Situations

Shared Bedrooms

Create “alone time” signs and schedules allowing each person solo use of shared spaces. This respects both the right to private masturbation and others’ right not to be exposed to sexual behavior.

Sexual Response to Non-Sexual Touch

When non-sexual touch elicits sexual response, caregivers must discontinue that touch immediately. Continuing could create legal risk and blurs professional boundaries.

Transgender Identity Considerations

Transgender people may experience gender dysphoria affecting sexual comfort. Supportive techniques include:

  • Renaming body parts to align with gender identity
  • Reducing visual barriers (clothed masturbation)
  • Using hands-free methods or sex toys instead of direct touching

Faith and Cultural Perspectives

Different faiths hold varying attitudes toward masturbation:

  • Prohibited: Traditional Islamic, Jewish, and some Christian perspectives
  • Conditional: Some faith communities permit as lesser evil
  • Accepted: Buddhist and many Hindu perspectives

Seeking Support from faith leaders can help balance health and well-being with religious values.

Relationships and Sex Education (rse)

Uk Statutory Requirements

  • England: RSE compulsory in secondary, Relationships Education in primary
  • Scotland: RSHP part of Health and Wellbeing curriculum
  • Wales: RSE mandatory across all schools
  • Northern Ireland: RSE statutory with school autonomy

Critical Gap in Rse

Young people with learning disabilities often know about conception but not what sexual activity actually is. Many don’t know boys get erections or what wet dreams are. Girls often believe they urinate from vaginas.

Important principle: RSE should be both age-appropriate AND developmentally-appropriate. If someone has cognitive level of a six-year-old but puberty-related urges, discuss puberty and masturbation regardless of typical six-year-old content.