Unmasking Autism

Overview

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price explores the hidden world of masked autism—the presentation of autism in people who don’t fit the narrow stereotype of a white, wealthy, cisgender boy with overt behavioral differences. The book examines how autism manifests across diverse populations, particularly in women, transgender people, and people of color, while revealing the profound psychological and physical costs of camouflaging autistic traits to appear neurotypical. Price reframes neurodiversity through a social justice lens, arguing that true liberation requires both individual unmasking and systemic dismantling of oppressive structures that pathologize disabled people.

What Makes This Book Distinctive

Price’s work stands apart for several reasons. First, it explicitly links masking to social marginalization rather than biology, challenging the reductive concept of “female autism.” Second, it exposes the dark historical roots of autism diagnostics—Hans Asperger’s complicity with Nazi eugenics, the deliberate exclusion of girls and people of color from research, and the troubling connection between Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) and anti-gay conversion therapy. Third, the book makes a radical argument: the most autistic-seeming behavior (awkward mirroring) triggers more neurotypical discomfort than simply being openly autistic, and research shows neurotypical bias actually vanishes when people understand someone is autistic. This flips the conventional wisdom about masking’s effectiveness on its head.

What Is Autism, Really?

Autism is a developmental disability rooted in measurable neurological differences. The autistic brain exhibits distinct markers: reduced development of Von Economo neurons (cells supporting intuitive processing), differences in anterior cingulate cortex development (affecting attention, decision-making, and emotional processing), unique excitability patterns in neurons, and distinctive connectivity patterns. These neurological differences fundamentally shape how autistic people process information.

Autistic brains process information “bottom-up”—analyzing individual elements systematically rather than making intuitive leaps. This manifests as heightened attention to detail, reduced susceptibility to cognitive biases (over 80% of neurotypical people fail a simple bat-and-ball math problem that most autistics solve correctly), and difficulty with rapid social processing. The sensory and perceptual differences are substantial: while neurotypical brains habituate to sensory stimuli over time, autistic brains show the opposite pattern—stimuli become increasingly bothersome the longer exposure continues. This hyperexcitability of neurons means autistic people are more easily startled or distracted by small inputs others don’t notice. Critically, autistic people experience intense sensory input as physical pain.

Autism affects every aspect of life: coordination, facial recognition, emotional reading, reaction time, pain/hunger recognition, and sensory processing. Associated traits include special interests, repetitive self-stimulatory behaviors (“stimming”), rigid rule-following, difficulty with sarcasm, and disruption-induced panic attacks. Autism frequently co-occurs with ADHD, dyslexia, gastrointestinal issues, connective tissue disorders, seizures, eating disorders, and trauma-related conditions.

Autism and ADHD are diagnostically difficult to distinguish—both involve executive function challenges, distractibility, sensory seeking, and intense pain at social rejection. However, accommodations required can be incompatible: autistic people typically need quiet, private, clean spaces to focus, while many ADHD people need stimulation, novelty, and sensory input to focus.

The Social Model of Disability

Critically, having neurological markers doesn’t make autism “more real” than behaviorally-diagnosed conditions—autism remains fundamentally a social disability shaped by lack of societal accommodation. The “disability” part results from societal failure to accommodate, not from the neurology itself. Most autistics reject the medical model seeking “cures” or “fixes”; there is no medication for autism, and the neurodiversity movement rejects the idea that autistic people are broken.

Masked Autism and Systematic Exclusion

Masked autism refers to any autism presentation that deviates from the stereotypical image. This broad category encompasses the vast majority of autistic people who were never diagnosed or were diagnosed late in life. The term is misleading because masking isn’t primarily biological but social—it’s how people respond to their neurodiversity not being taken seriously in oppressive social systems.

Masking isn’t a conscious choice but rather a state of exclusion forced from outside. Autistic children, receiving no diagnosis and no support language, internalize shame about their differences and develop neurotypical façades. The mask feels deeply inauthentic and is exhausting to maintain; research shows it contributes directly to burnout, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, substance abuse, and suicide ideation. The mask obscures the fact that the world is inaccessible to autistic people—if allistics never see our struggle or hear our needs, they have no reason to adapt.

How Masking Develops

Masking begins early in childhood when autistic traits conflict with social expectations. For autistic girls and gender minorities, masking often goes undetected because their traits don’t manifest as disruptive classroom behavior—they’re quiet, compliant, and sweet rather than loud and defiant. This invisibility means they suffer internally without receiving diagnoses or support. Middle school marks a critical turning point where transitions become overwhelming, social complexity increases dramatically, and the cognitive load of managing multiple social masks simultaneously becomes unsustainable.

Masking consists of two behavioral classes. Camouflaging means attempting to hide or obscure autistic traits to blend in with neurotypicals, with the goal of avoiding detection as disabled. Compensation means using specific strategies to overcome challenges and maintain the appearance of high, independent functioning. Both serve to hide actual needs and extend far beyond social performance—masking shapes which careers people choose, how they dress, where they live, and what they allow themselves to need.

The Masking Paradox

The paradox of masking effort is striking: autistic people often fail at masking despite tremendous effort because neurotypical people subconsciously detect autism within milliseconds of meeting someone. Research shows traits autistic people naturally embody (awkward behavior, unnatural smiles, laughter at “unnatural” times) are precisely what neurotypical people associate with creepiness. Studies found that even slightly inappropriate social mirroring makes people physically uncomfortable. Since autistic maskers try hard to mirror others but can’t do it fluently, they often trigger neurotypical discomfort despite their best efforts.

Paradoxically, research by Sasson and colleagues shows that when neurotypical people are told they’re interacting with an autistic person, their biases disappear and they express greater interest in getting to know the person—suggesting that explanation for “oddness” makes perceived creepiness vanish. This is a crucial insight that undermines the entire masking project.

Gender, Race, and Diagnostic Erasure

Autism goes massively underdiagnosed in girls and women—historically at a 4:1 ratio favoring boys—not because women’s autism is “milder” biologically, but because girls are socialized to hide it. Autistic girls’ self-stimulation tends to be less visibly disruptive; their shyness is culturally normalized; their meltdowns get dismissed as emotional outburths rather than neurological responses; and they’re punished severely for aggression, causing them to censor it earlier.

The Problem with “Female Autism”

The concept of “female autism” is reductive and misleading because it attributes masking to sex/gender rather than to social marginalization and unequal social latitude for nonconformity. Not all women have “female autism” traits—Temple Grandin is visibly, classically autistic and still wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood. Not all masked autistics are women—trans people, people of color, and gender-nonconforming people also mask extensively.

Racism in Diagnosis and Treatment

Racism has permeated psychology and psychiatry from inception. Early clinicians came from white European backgrounds and used their culture’s social norms as the definition of health—narrowly defining humanity as genteel, well-dressed, well-read, and white. Black and brown autistics are massively underdiagnosed because racism distorts how the disorder is perceived and assessed. White autistics are 19% more likely to be diagnosed than Black autistics and 65% more likely than Latinx autistics.

Unlike white autistic boys who are eventually diagnosed, autistic people of color exhibiting nonconformity and non-compliance are more likely to be labeled defiant, antisocial, schizophrenic, or given personality disorder diagnoses—labels that facilitate incarceration or institutionalization rather than support. Approximately 50% of people killed by police have disabilities, with Black and brown autistics at especially elevated risk. Code-switching—shifting between African-American English and Standard English, modulating appearance and mannerisms—compounds masking for Black autistics.

The Dark History of Autism Diagnostics

The history of how autism got defined reveals these disparities aren’t accidental. Hans Asperger and other early researchers studied girls with autism but deliberately excluded them from published reports. Asperger specifically wanted to present “high-functioning” autistic boys as “valuable” to the Nazi regime in Austria to protect them from extermination—documents reveal he was far more complicit in Nazi disability murders than previously known. He knowingly sent visibly debilitated autistics to extermination centers while protecting intelligent “little professor” types, usually wealthy boys. Girls with disabilities were considered “disposable” and erased entirely. Black and brown autistics weren’t described at all.

Ole Ivar Lovaas, who developed Applied Behavioral Analysis (the primary “treatment” for autism), also invented anti-gay conversion therapy—a legacy still haunting LGBTQ autistics. Early psychiatrists concluded autism was caused by an “extremely male brain,” cementing diagnostics around that image. This created a self-perpetuating feedback loop: primarily wealthy white boys were diagnosed; those boys set the standard; future research focused on them.

The Neurodiversity Framework and Diagnosis Access

The term “neurodiversity,” coined in 1999 by sociologist Judy Singer, refers to people whose thoughts, emotions, or behaviors have been stigmatized as abnormal or unhealthy—including autistics, people with ADHD, schizophrenia, brain injuries, and others. Neurodiversity isn’t about having a specific catalogued “defect” but about being different in ways others struggle to accept. The key insight: many disabilities are created or worsened by social exclusion, not by the neurotype itself.

Barriers to Formal Diagnosis

Pursuing formal diagnosis for autism presents serious barriers. In the US, many insurance plans don’t cover adult autism assessment; specialists are scarce; the process costs $1,200–$5,000; and assessment tools are designed for white male children. Many assessors dismiss adult patients who are women, dress well, or don’t have monotone voices. Diagnosis is not a guarantee of support—employers and educators frequently refuse accommodations despite legal requirements; family members may use diagnosis to infantilize or undermine; and there are no evidence-based treatments for adult autism.

Self-Determination Over Medical Gatekeeping

At least half of all U.S. Autistics are currently undiagnosed, with diagnosis rates lower for women, trans people, people of color, and those in poverty. Price advocates “self-determination” or “self-realization” over medical gatekeeping, especially given diagnosis’s accessibility issues disproportionately affect marginalized people. Understanding that you might be autistic without a formal diagnosis is valid. Spaces like the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and Autistics Against Curing Autism embrace self-realized autistics, recognizing not everyone will have access to fair or affordable assessment.

Autistic Burnout and the Cost of Masking

Autistic burnout is a state of chronic exhaustion where autistic skills degrade and stress tolerance plummets. One case illustrates this vividly: Crystal collapsed after completing her senior thesis in college. College had taken longer than expected—she constantly dropped classes to “hold her life together,” but lied to people, claiming she worked full-time. Her final year required overseeing set design for a major theater production—managing dozens of props, sourcing materials, building them, tracking them in spreadsheets while taking final classes. She pushed through, losing hair and weight, but collapsed immediately after graduating. She spent three months in bed at her mother’s house, barely showering, while her family insisted she was “just being lazy.” She eventually became too lethargic to watch TV or play with the dog—only then did her mother suggest therapy, which led to an autism assessment.

Crystal’s case illuminates why masking is so costly: beyond baseline cognitive and sensory challenges, autistic people expend enormous energy seeming “normal”—fighting urges to self-soothe, forcing attention to others’ words and faces, managing reading that takes twice as long. Research repeatedly shows masking’s devastation: it’s emotionally and physically devastating, contributing to burnout, depression, anxiety, and suicide ideation. Conforming to neurotypical standards earns tentative acceptance at heavy existential cost.

Trauma, Misdiagnosis, and Comorbid Conditions

Autism is frequently misdiagnosed as other conditions because its traits overlap significantly with multiple mental health disorders. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can look very similar to autism—people with PTSD fear large crowds, are easily rattled by loud noises, and become reserved in hard-to-read situations. Many autistic people experience trauma early in life through mistreatment, bullying, or the traumatic effects of ABA therapy, making it impossible to untangle which traits are autistic and which result from trauma.

Borderline Personality Disorder Misdiagnosis

Most devastatingly, autistic women are frequently misdiagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), a diagnosis therapists actively avoid because people with BPD are viewed as manipulative, needy, attention-seeking, and unreliable. The overlap is stark: both involve fear of rejection, unstable sense of self dependent on others’ acceptance, and emotions perceived as extreme or inappropriate. However, autistic women’s insecure sense of self and fear of rejection typically develop from repeated rejection and trauma for being autistic, not from the emotional processing disorder that defines BPD.

Why Standard Therapy Often Fails Autistics

Therapy approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) that focus on challenging “irrational beliefs” don’t work well for autistic people because many autistic fears are entirely rational and rooted in genuine painful experiences. Autism also resembles anxiety disorders, and the rituals and repetitive behaviors autistic people develop to cope can look like Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

Dissociation, Interoception, and Emotional Disconnection

Masked autistics often dissociate to manage overwhelming sensory and social demands, mentally retreating while physically going through motions. Dissociation temporarily conserves energy but increases long-term alienation from physical needs. Research suggests autistic people have diminished sense of agency—we struggle to recognize when we’re actually in control versus when external factors dominate, leading us to rely on external validation rather than internal signals.

The Interoception Gap

Additionally, most autistics have reduced interoception—awareness of the body’s warning signals—making it difficult to recognize hunger, fatigue, or physical pain. While autistics are typically hypersensitive to minor sensory inputs, we’re often numb to significant pain. Masking compounds this: we’re conditioned to suppress our discomfort to keep neurotypicals comfortable, so we learn to ignore physical signals altogether.

Alexithymia: Difficulty Recognizing Emotions

Approximately 50% of autistics experience alexithymia—difficulty recognizing and naming emotions. We may sense vague distress but can’t identify specific feelings like jealousy or resentment. This develops partly because autistics aren’t taught to recognize emotions in our bodies, and we’re conditioned to prioritize others’ feelings over our own. Growing up, we learn to track neurotypical emotional displays to adjust our behavior for acceptance, while our own different facial expressions and body signals are ignored. Result: we often don’t recognize our own discomfort until we’re near meltdown.

Vulnerability to Manipulation and High-Control Groups

Masked autistics are at elevated risk of joining cults, radicalized communities, MLMs, and other high-control groups. We’re vulnerable due to: social isolation and desperation for belonging, tendency to be gullible and overly trusting, rapid compliance-building from ABA therapy, hyperfocus that can fixate on group ideologies, and desire for clear rules and rigid structure. High-control groups exploit these vulnerabilities through “love bombing” (excessive initial affection), us-versus-them framing, isolation tactics, and repetitive jargon that discourages critical thinking. Research shows autistics face elevated risk of financial exploitation, domestic violence, relational abuse, and emotional manipulation.

The Fawning Trauma Response

Many masked autistics engage in “fawning”—a trauma response where we pacify perceived threats through compulsive people-pleasing, hiding authentic needs behind helpful personas, over-listening, and endless accommodation. This protects us from rejection but prevents genuine connection. We mirror others’ emotions and behaviors (cognitively exhausting, paradoxically reducing our empathy), avoid expressing boundaries, and monitor for brewing conflict to prevent it preemptively. Result: our connections feel inauthentic; we’re constantly drained from mask maintenance with nothing left for real relationships.

ABA Therapy: Trauma-Based “Treatment”

Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) is the prevailing “evidence-based” treatment for autistic children, focused on training autistic kids to fake a neurotypical personality through rewards and punishments. ABA therapists use aversive conditioning: children are sprayed in the face with water, have vinegar applied to their tongue, or are electrocuted for failing to make eye contact, talking about special interests, engaging in echolalia (phrase repeating), or hand-flapping. Children are forced to rehearse compensation strategies for hours without breaks until they parrot back conversational scripts correctly and provide “adequate” eye contact.

The ABA-Conversion Therapy Connection

The founder of ABA, Ole Ivar Lovaas, coerced children into providing hugs and kisses by using candy as reward. Lovaas also invented anti-gay conversion therapy—a connection that is not coincidental. Forty-six percent of autistic adults who underwent ABA as children report having PTSD as a result. Many experience deep shame about their passions because they were punished for special interests. Others cannot appreciate the benefits of stimming because “quiet hands” was so deeply drilled into them. Many don’t know how to refuse unreasonable demands or express emotions like anger or fear.

A former ABA therapist confessed anonymously that she worries she conditioned patients to be easy prey for sexual predators and abusers by training them to comply with all adult demands without question. Despite being loathed by autistic people, ABA remains popular with parents and teachers because efficacy is measured by the neurotypical gaze—whether the autistic child is quieter and less “weird”—rather than the child’s psychological wellbeing.

Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, and Substance Abuse as Masking Strategies

Autism and eating disorders are highly correlated, especially among women, trans people, and late-diagnosed maskers. Multiple factors explain this correlation. Some masked autistics believe thinness will help them blend in socially. Others neglect physical needs from mental detachment from their bodies. Purging floods the body with endorphins (calming and addictive) and can function as self-harm or sensory regulation. Repetitive exercise behaviors serve dual purposes: burning calories and engaging in self-stimulation. Some masked autistics are drawn to eating disorders for the structure and sense of control they provide—autistic brains seek clear “rules” for behavior.

Between 20-37% of anorexia nervosa patients are autistic, though actual rates may be higher due to underdiagnosis in at-risk populations. Autistic patients in conventional eating disorder treatment have worse outcomes. However, autism-friendly inpatient programs show promise: Tchanturia’s autism-accessible ward featured neutral décor, sensory boxes with weighted blankets, and communication passports, resulting in significantly shorter stays and better long-term outcomes.

Alcohol as Socially Acceptable Masking

Many masked autistic people develop problematic relationships with alcohol and drugs as a way to manage unmet sensory, social, and emotional needs. Substances dull sensory sensitivities, assist with social regulation by loosening the constant self-monitoring required of masked autistics, and provide culturally acceptable release valves for anxiety. When drunk, social norms relax—even neurotypical people talk too long and interrupt. Saying something weird feels safer at a party where everyone is intoxicated. For many masked autistics, alcohol is the only release valve for meltdown energy that neurotypical society respects.

One case illustrates this: Thomas maintained a 60-hour workweek while secretly drinking and coming to work hungover, had a partner he barely spoke to, and a chaotic home life—all while appearing “high-functioning.” His therapists diagnosed him with Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder based on unstable relationships and explosive emotions, missing that his struggles stemmed from unrecognized autism and the sensory overwhelm alcohol was masking.

The “High-Functioning” Trap and Public Vs. Private Disability

Many masked autistics (particularly those verbal from young age) are filtered into gifted education rather than special education. This creates a double bind: high intelligence is socially prized, so masked autistics are expected to accomplish great things to justify their oddness, yet because they possess this enviable quality, it’s assumed they need less help, not more. Communication and intelligence become essential parts of the mask—impressing teachers with sophisticated vocabulary and opinions while internal social and emotional life remains underdeveloped.

Rejecting Functioning Labels

The concept of “functioning status” itself is predicated on capitalist logic and Protestant work ethic—productivity determines worth. The Autistic Self Advocacy Network rejects high/low functioning labels because they oversimplify disability’s effects and equate productivity with human value. A person can speak, socialize, and hold a job while privately needing help getting dressed or remembering to eat. Conversely, a nonverbal person unable to dress themselves might excel academically given accommodations.

The “functioning” framework fails to capture that masked autistics often appear to function highly in public while being significantly disabled in private. The Instagram account @MyAutisticNurse documents “Boo,” a “high-functioning” autistic pediatric nurse with impressive medical knowledge who is also completely unable to speak after stressful shifts and spends hours lining up toys.

Ido Kedar: From “Low-Functioning” to College Student

Ido Kedar spent much of early life unable to communicate verbally or write due to motor control difficulties. He was considered “low-functioning.” Then he learned to type on an iPad and his blog “Ido in Autismland” was born—he’s written two books, given countless interviews, graduated high school with 3.9 GPA, and is working through college. Academically and intellectually, he functions at very high levels now with accommodations, yet occupied a “low-functioning” position for years.

Autism Is Diverse and Paradoxical

Although neurology and cognition cut across many autistic people, presentation is always different—traits can manifest in contradictory ways. Some autistic people can’t speak; others are hyperverbal with huge vocabularies. Some read others’ emotions easily (overwhelming); others empathize with animals but not people; some have zero emotional empathy. Some have no special interests; others are fanatical about dozens of subjects.

Paradoxical Presentations

Autistic traits can present paradoxically within one person. Price sometimes hyperfixates so intensely that the world drops away—she won’t notice someone speaking or smoke from a forgotten oven. Other times, she’s an anxious, distractible wreck unable to finish a sentence because her chinchilla’s cage is rattling. Both responses stem from the same root: overexcitable neurons that don’t discriminate between “nuisance variables” (dripping faucet) and crucial data (loved one quietly crying).

Extroverted Autistics

Some autistic people are extroverted or outgoing, frequently missed in diagnosis because they don’t fit the stereotype of autism as a disorder characterized by isolation and social withdrawal. Outgoing autistics may fumble with social niceties, interrupt too often, or seem “too enthusiastic,” but their high degree of interest in connecting with others generally benefits them psychologically and makes them easier for neurotypicals to relate to.

Practical Strategies and Techniques for Unmasking

The Values-Based Integration Exercise

Identify 3–5 core values that emerge when examining moments you felt genuinely alive. This exercise helps masked autistics move from fragmented survival-based compartmentalization to coherent, authentic identity. Review key moments when you felt most authentically yourself and check them for repeated themes.

Step-by-step:

1. Write down 5-7 moments when you felt most authentically yourself, most alive, or most in your power
2. Highlight repeated themes/keywords across these memories
3. Identify 3-5 core values emerging from the pattern
4. Create a visual representation showing how these values interconnect and guide decisions
5. Regularly ask: “Does this align with my values? Am I doing this because I actually want to, or because society expects it?”

Decisions guided by authentic values lead to fulfillment; fear-driven decisions lead to soul-sickness and resentment. The author’s intervention stopping an assault revealed she values protecting others and being principled more than fitting in—her autistic traits (arrogance, stubbornness, willingness to be awkward) enable living that value.

Identifying and Cultivating “Strawberry People” Relationships

Rather than spreading energy across exhausting relationships, masked autistics benefit from deliberately building connections with genuinely supportive people. Samuel Dylan Finch created a system labeling supportive people as “strawberry people” and “seedling people,” then prioritized these relationships.

Identify strawberry people by asking:

• Who can you express disagreement to without fear of abandonment?
• Who helps you think nonjudgmentally when struggling?
• Who tells you honestly when they’re hurt?
• Who respects you regardless of productivity or performance?
• Who leaves you rejuvenated rather than drained?

Research shows autistic brains continue developing in social skill areas far longer than neurotypical brains—by age 30, differences in facial expression processing disappeared, and autistics over 50 process others’ emotions comparably to allistic people. This suggests autistic social development continues throughout life with supportive relationships.

Reframing “Negative” Autistic Traits as Strengths

Self-stigma occurs when marginalized people internalize negative stereotypes about their group. Autistic adults absorb messages that we’re cold, arrogant, annoying, childish, awkward, clueless, pathetic—messages absorbed from childhood corrections. Yet reframed, these traits reveal unexpected strengths:

• Arrogant → Confident/Principled (enables whistleblowing and standing up for justice)
• Cold → Rational/Analytical (enables rational clarity without emotional clouding)
• Annoying → Enthusiastic/Alive (enables genuine passion and presence)
• Childish → Curious/Joyful (enables joy and wonder neurotypicals lose)
• Awkward → Authentic/Unblending (enables genuine connection)
• Clueless → Reflective/Vulnerable (enables emotional detection and supporting others)

When we stop viewing our disability from an outsider’s perspective and center our own needs, traits that inconvenience neurotypicals reveal themselves as neutral or positive.

Reclaiming Special Interests as Joy and Identity

Autistic brains hyperfocus intensely on narrow interests. Engaging special interests is strongly linked to better mental health, stress management, and low depression. Yet ABA punishment for discussing interests trains shame. Reclaiming special interests reconnects us with joy and authentic identity. Fandoms and nerdy communities are foundational autistic spaces where we find belonging, unmask, and develop coping skills.

Autistic people actually have more diverse interests than neurotypicals and initiate more social media conversations about interests. Freedom to develop special interests links to improved social, emotional, and motor development.

Divergent Design: Creating Neurodivergent-Friendly Living Spaces

Marta Rose’s “divergent design” principle: design spaces for how you actually live, not how you aspire to live. Homes should accommodate reality without shame.

Practical examples:

• Rather than guilt about clothes piling on the floor, hang hooks beside bed
• Use curtains or closed bins for stored collections
• Break design “rules” but gain freedom: industrial noise-canceling headphones at desk
• Honor sensory preferences: sparse minimalist environments vs. color-rich spaces

Research shows many autistics struggle with visual clutter—it creates sensory noise disrupting focus and emotion regulation. However, preferences vary—some autistics are sensory seekers craving bold lights and sound.

Spiral Time and Productivity Beyond Industrial Models

Standard work schedules reflect factory-era “Industrial Time.” Neuroscience shows most workers focus productively ~four hours daily; long workdays erode life/job satisfaction. Autistics often work in hyperfocused bursts followed by recovery.

Practical approach:

• Expand timeframes for gauging success (take the long view)
• Slow down (stillness helps process data autistics absorb)
• Don’t complete projects on neurotypical schedules; cycle back to old ones
• Think of time as spirals, not straight lines: overlapping cycles of dormancy and growth
• Abandoned projects become “data”—learning pays off differently than expected

With this frame, autistic minds excel at fractals—details expanding, precise focus narrowing—building worlds, not completing discrete projects.

Unmasking Through Radical Visibility and Strategic Self-Disclosure

Radical visibility is an approach to disability acceptance that celebrates and emphasizes differences usually hidden. Where masking constantly scans for social threat and suppresses autistic stimming, radical visibility encourages authentic self-expression. A masker gets needs met privately through apologetic half-measures; a radically visible person openly declares their requirements because they deserve them.

Daily practices for radical visibility:

• Express disagreement without apologizing
• Notice when pressured to do unwanted things and name it aloud
• Go entire days without guessing others’ emotions or controlling facial expressions
• Ask for things you normally feel guilty requesting
• Bring stim toys to social gatherings and use them without shame
• Wear clothing you love instead of waiting for “excuses”
• Give honest answers when asked how you’re doing

Research on late diagnosis autistic self-disclosure shows mixed results depending on context. Consider: who you want to tell, why, what you hope will happen, and how much energy you’ll invest educating them. You can be openly autistic with some people but not others, share specific accommodation needs without explaining why, or use socially acceptable “excuses” when necessary.

Autism-Friendly Communication Strategies

Research found that when two autistic people worked together, they were very efficient social communicators. Problems arise with neurotypical partners who misunderstand us. Autistic people prefer explicit communication, clear messages without reliance on tone or non-verbal communication.

Common autistic communication needs:

• Specific plans with details (time, place, what will happen)
• Clear yes/no answers (no euphemisms like “I’ll think about it”)
• Advance meeting agendas
• Reading materials provided before events
• Step-by-step task instructions
• Direct explanations of feelings

Autistic directness can be professionally valuable—asking meeting points, naming discomfort clearly, and redirecting offensive behavior without filter. Carefully dispensed autistic candor at work often gets thanks rather than criticism; many allistic people find clear communication refreshing.

Key Takeaways

1. Masked autism is systematic exclusion, not biology: The majority of autistic people—particularly women, trans people, people of color, and those in poverty—were never diagnosed because diagnostic criteria were designed around wealthy white cisgender boys. Masking isn’t a “female autism” trait; it’s what happens when society gives marginalized people no social latitude for difference.

2. Autism is neurologically real but socially constructed as a disability: Autism involves measurable neurological differences, but the “disability” part results from societal failure to accommodate. The neurodiversity movement recognizes autism as a normal form of human difference deserving acceptance and accommodation.

3. The paradox of masking: Neurotypical people subconsciously detect autism within milliseconds, and the forced mimicry actually triggers discomfort more than authentic autistic behavior would. Research shows when neurotypical people understand someone is autistic, bias disappears and they express greater interest in getting to know the person.

4. High-control groups deliberately exploit autistic vulnerabilities: Cults, radicalized communities, MLMs, and abusive partners specifically target isolated, rule-seeking, hyperfocused autistics with love-bombing, clear orthodoxy, and repetitive jargon. Our tendency to trust external rules over internal signals makes us especially susceptible.

5. Dissociation and reduced interoception create dangerous vulnerability: Masked autistics disconnect from physical/emotional signals to manage overwhelm, making us unable to recognize hunger, pain, or distress until crises occur. We can’t identify emotions, struggle to see ourselves as having agency, and rely on external validation.

6. ABA therapy traumatizes autistic children: 46% of autistic adults who underwent ABA report PTSD. ABA measures “success” by neurotypical comfort (quieter, less weird children), not by child wellbeing. It trains children to suppress self-stimulation, comply with all adult demands, and develop shame about their interests and bodies.

7. Eating disorders and substance abuse serve masking functions: For masked autistics, these behaviors provide rigid structure, self-regulation, sensory satisfaction, or socially acceptable covers for autistic suffering. Recovery requires finding alternative belonging and structure.

8. Reframing traits reveals unexpected strengths: Autistic “worst” traits (arrogance, coldness, annoyingness, childishness) enable whistleblowing, rational clarity, enthusiasm, joy, and authenticity. When we stop viewing disability from an outsider’s perspective and center our own needs, traits inconvenient for neurotypicals reveal neutral or positive value.

9. Special interests are vital to mental health and identity: Engaging special interests correlates with stress management, low depression, and better overall well-being. Autistic people have more diverse interests than neurotypicals and build communities around them. Reclaiming special interests reconnects us with joy.

10. Unmasking requires identifying authentic values and building supportive community: Values-based living means identifying what actually matters to you and gradually releasing shame about disappointing others while building authenticity. Cultivating “strawberry people” relationships makes unmasking sustainable and safe.

11. Radical visibility is politically transformative: Embracing and celebrating neurodivergence openly challenges ableist social structures. Research shows neurotypical bias disappears when they understand someone is autistic, turning “weird” into “understandable.”

12. Systemic change is essential: Individual self-affirmation is insufficient. Creating a truly neurodiverse world requires dismantling oppressive structures—criminal justice systems, psychiatric involuntary institutionalization, ableist employment practices, and poverty traps in disability benefits.