We’re Not Broken - Changing the Autism Conversation

Overview

We’re Not Broken by Eric Garcia is a groundbreaking examination of how misinformation, parent-centered advocacy, and systemic barriers have shaped autism discourse and policy in America. Through interviews, case studies, and personal narrative, Garcia challenges the deficit-based “cure” narrative that has dominated autism conversations, while documenting how Autistic self-advocacy is reclaiming the conversation around their own lives. This book is essential for newly diagnosed Autistic adults, parents seeking accuracy, policymakers, educators, and anyone wanting to understand autism through an autistic-centered lens rather than external expert perspectives.

The Foundational Myth: How “Refrigerator Mothers” and Bad Science Shaped Autism for Decades

Leo Kanner’s 1943 landmark study of autism inadvertently created one of the most damaging myths in disability history. Kanner noted that Autistic children’s parents lacked “genuine warmth,” describing them as keeping their children “neatly in refrigerators which did not defrost.” Psychologist Bruno Bettelheim then explicitly blamed parents for their children’s autism, claiming they wished their Autistic children didn’t exist. Though Kanner later recanted and Bettelheim’s ideas were thoroughly debunked, the damage persisted for decades—parents blamed themselves, autism became framed as personal tragedy rather than a neurological difference, and Autistic people were prevented from accessing the broader disability rights movement.

This foundational error illustrates a critical pattern: misinformation in autism discourse, once established, shapes policy for generations even after being scientifically refuted. Kanner’s study included only white children from affluent families, yet this limited sample became the template for understanding autism universally, creating diagnostic and systemic disparities that persist today. The “refrigerator mother” myth demonstrates how expert-driven narratives that exclude Autistic people’s own voices inevitably produce harmful frameworks that prioritize external judgment over Autistic reality.

Misinformation Drives Policy: The Anti-Vaccine Conspiracy and Its Devastating Consequences

Andrew Wakefield’s 1998 fraudulent study claiming a link between the MMR vaccine and autism became the most consequential piece of medical misinformation in recent memory. Despite the study’s retraction and Wakefield’s loss of his medical license in 2010, the conspiracy found champions across the political spectrum: Republican Dan Burton held congressional hearings based on anecdotal evidence about his grandchildren; Democratic Senator Tom Harkin questioned vaccine safety despite being a disability rights champion; both Barack Obama and John McCain mentioned vaccine-autism links during the 2008 presidential campaign. Jenny McCarthy amplified false claims on CNN and Oprah, reaching millions.

The irony is devastating: while politicians debated vaccines, Autistic people faced unemployment, lack of services, and inadequate education. Federal autism research spending reflects these distorted priorities: 75 percent goes toward finding “causes” and “cures,” while only 6 percent funds services and supports that Autistic people actually need. This demonstrates how bad information from well-meaning (or opportunistic) advocates produces backward policy priorities. Misinformation doesn’t just spread false beliefs—it actively redirects resources away from what Autistic people need to survive and thrive.

The “High-Functioning” vs. “Low-Functioning” Binary Obscures Both Struggles and Capability

The functioning labels dichotomy—“high-functioning” vs. “low-functioning”—obscures more than it reveals. Someone perceived as high-functioning may face profound invisible struggles: anxiety, sensory overload, executive dysfunction, chronic burnout from masking. Conversely, labels like “low-functioning” presume incompetence in nonspeaking Autistic people, denying their intelligence and capacity. Lawyer and activist Lydia X. Z. Brown argued that Autistic people on the “right of the middle” of the spectrum are “closer to anyone on the far Autistic end than anyone on the neurotypical end.”

Hari Srinivasan, a nonspeaking Autistic person admitted to UC Berkeley, exemplifies why functioning labels fail: he couldn’t communicate verbally during traditional Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) lessons due to oral-motor apraxia and sensory overload, yet proved capable of university-level work with appropriate accommodations. Many Autistic self-advocates deliberately avoid these terms, instead using “higher support needs” and “lower support needs” to be more precise about actual assistance required rather than making value judgments about personhood. The critical insight: Autistic people exist on a spectrum of different needs and strengths, not a hierarchy of human worth.

Autism Speaks and the Cure Narrative: How Parent-Led Advocacy Without Autistic Input Perpetuates Stigma

Bob and Suzanne Wright founded Autism Speaks in 2005 after their grandson Christian’s autism diagnosis, with a mission focused on finding a “cure.” For its first ten years, Autism Speaks had no openly Autistic board members. The organization produced an infamous 2009 ad directed by Alfonso Cuarón titled “I Am Autism,” depicting autism as a menacing force that would destroy families, bankrupt parents, and ruin marriages—language more suited to describing a disease like cancer than a neurological difference. The ad faced massive pushback and was removed, but the organization’s internal culture fractured over vaccine conspiracy theories, with Katie Wright (the founders’ daughter) aligning with those claiming mercury in vaccines causes autism, prompting CEO Alison Singer to resign in 2009.

This history reveals a critical pattern: when parent-centered advocacy proceeds without Autistic self-advocacy as a counterweight, desperation justifies extreme measures. Parents frame autism as tragedy without Autistic people’s counter-narrative—“I wish my child did not have autism” becomes “I wish the Autistic child I have did not exist” (Jim Sinclair’s devastating observation). This creates the conditions for abuse to be defended as loving intervention, from shock therapy at the Judge Rotenberg Center (defended by parents) to murder cases treated with sympathy for perpetrators rather than protection of Autistic lives.

The Neurodiversity Movement and Autism Self-Advocacy: Reclaiming Control of the Narrative

In 1993, Jim Sinclair of Autism Network International delivered a landmark speech titled “Don’t Mourn for Us,” fundamentally challenging parent-centered narratives. Sinclair introduced a revolutionary concept: “Autism is a way of being. It is not possible to separate the person from the autism.” Sinclair argued that tragedy comes not from autism itself but from what happens to Autistic people due to societal barriers—inaccessible systems, discrimination, lack of accommodation. This sparked the neurodiversity paradigm, which views autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and dyspraxia as normal human variations requiring accommodation, not cure.

Ari Ne’eman cofounded the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) in 2006 with Scott Robertson, adopting the disability rights mantra “Nothing about us without us.” ASAN successfully pressured NYU to remove dehumanizing ads depicting autism as kidnapping children and coordinated media campaigns that established ASAN’s influence despite having far fewer resources than Autism Speaks. When the Combating Autism Act faced reauthorization in 2014, Autistic self-advocates launched the StopCombatingMe campaign on Twitter, successfully renaming it the Autism CARES Act (Collaboration, Accountability, Research, Education, and Support). This victory demonstrates that when Autistic people center themselves in advocacy, policy shifts from “cure-focused” to “support-focused” priorities.

Employment Barriers: Systemic Discrimination, Not Lack of Capability

A critical statistic highlights employment disparities: approximately 75-85% of college-educated Autistic people are unemployed or underemployed, and only 14% of Autistic adults receiving state services work in integrated employment. This contradicts the narrative that Autistic people simply need job training—the barrier is discrimination and poor systemic design, not inability.

Two dominant myths trap Autistic employment: (1) the “soft bigotry of low expectations” presuming Autistic people can’t work or only deserve subminimum wages, and (2) the inverse myth that Autistic people are hypercompetent STEM savants destined for Silicon Valley. Both narratives harm Autistic people existing between extremes. Corporate neurodiversity hiring initiatives from JPMorgan Chase, Microsoft, SAP, Salesforce, and Google have begun using alternative recruitment methods (Lego robot-building, modified interviews, skills-based assessments) that better identify Autistic talent. However, critical problems persist: programs concentrate exclusively on STEM, ignoring Autistic people in communications, groundskeeping, food service, graphic design, and countless other fields. This creates tiers of “worthy” Autistic people, excluding those with learning disabilities or non-STEM interests.

Sheltered Workshops and Subminimum-Wage Labor: Section 14(c) and Economic Destitution

Section 14(c) of the 1938 Fair Labor Standards Act allows employers to pay disabled people below federal minimum wage if their “earning or productive capacity is impaired.” This 86-year-old provision persists despite bipartisan calls for elimination. In 2019, 383,941 Autistic people received SSI (Supplemental Security Income), the lowest safety net tier. Unlike SSDI (Social Security Disability Income—funded by workers’ contributions and viewed as “earned”), SSI is general-funded and stigmatized as “undeserved.”

Parent advocates defend sheltered workshops, citing respite care, transportation, and Medicaid services. However, Autistic self-advocates reject this framework: disabled people’s labor has inherent worth deserving fair compensation. Maxfield Sparrow’s experience illustrates the horror—standing in sweltering heat removing foam pieces, forbidden from using bathrooms except during breaks, earning insufficient income to afford housing, eventually sleeping in parks. This demonstrates how the framework of “subminimum wage as compassionate employment” actually perpetuates segregation and economic destitution.

Policy Movement: In 2020, the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights recommended Congress repeal Section 14(c) with phase-out support. Vermont, which ended sheltered workshop funding and invested heavily in supported employment, achieved an 80% transition rate to supported employment and a 38% integrated-employment rate (double the 19% national average). This proves that alternatives to sheltered workshops exist and work.

Housing, Community Integration, and the Waitlist Crisis

Autistic people institutionalized in the 20th century faced horrific conditions. Cal Montgomery, institutionalized in 1987 at Austin State Hospital, later endured electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) at McLean Hospital in Massachusetts—“framed as an option, but it was not an option.” David Mandell’s research found 10% of 141 Norriton State Hospital residents had undiagnosed autism, misdiagnosed as “chronic undifferentiated schizophrenia.” The 1981 Medicaid Home- and Community-Based Services (HCBS) waivers and the 1999 Supreme Court’s Olmstead v. L.C. decision mandated community integration. By 2012, 70% of Medicaid long-term support spending went to HCBS (versus 30% to institutions in 1995).

The Waitlist Crisis: 707,000+ people on HCBS waitlists in 48 states (2017 Kaiser Foundation report). New Mexico’s backlog: 5,000 people waiting 13 years for services. CMS’s 2014 “settings rule” defined which settings could receive HCBS funding, prohibiting settings that isolate residents. Four categories were identified: farmsteads (rural farm placements perpetuating subminimum-wage labor), gated/secured communities (disability-specific enclaves preventing community interaction), residential schools (facilities with documented abuse), and clustered group homes (multiple facilities operated by same entity).

Forms of Independence: The text distinguishes three valid models: (1) Full Independence, (2) Supported Independence, and (3) Higher-Support Living. All three are valid independence. As activist Ruti Regan writes: when disabled people aren’t allowed to fail, they’re not allowed to succeed—growth requires failed attempts.

Guardianship vs. Supported Decision-Making: Preserving Dignity and Autonomy

Guardianship—tracing to 14th-century British law—strips disabled people of legal rights: finances, residence choice, voting, marriage. Supported decision-making (SDM) preserves rights while providing assistance. States with SDM laws: Texas (2015), Delaware (2016), Indiana, Nevada, Alaska, Wisconsin, North Dakota, Rhode Island, DC. Maine required guardianship courts consider SDM first. SDM allows disabled people to retain legal rights (voting, marriage, finances) while receiving assistance. Unlike guardianship, SDM respects self-determination even in imperfect choices—the right to fail is the right to grow.

Cult of “Cure” and Why Healthcare Should Focus on Holistic Well-Being

Autism discourse is trapped between medical model and social model. The medical model treats autism as pathology requiring “cure”; the social model recognizes society’s inaccessibility as the problem. Neurodiversity adds: atypical brains deserve respect and dignity, not elimination. Autistic people faced electroconvulsive therapy, insulin shocks, metrazol-induced convulsions, and LSD experiments. Yet Autistic people don’t universally want “cure”; many reject the premise that neurodivergence is pathology.

The Neurodiversity vs. Disability Paradox: Jill Escher, cofounder of the National Council on Severe Autism and parent to nonspeaking Autistic sons, rejects what she sees as “cherrypicking naive, feel-good stories” while acknowledging autism as “severe neurodevelopmental disability.” John Elder Robison articulated the balance: “Our duty in autism is not to cure but to relieve suffering and maximize each person’s potential.” Acceptance doesn’t mean ignoring comorbidities like epilepsy (affecting 20-30% of Autistic adults by adulthood) or gastrointestinal issues. Yet research priorities are backward: of the $364 million spent on autism research in 2016, only 2% funded lifespan issues; 35% went to biology and 24% to risk factors.

Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA): Debate, Complexity, and Autistic Perspectives

Ole Ivar Lovaas pioneered Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) in the 1960s using aversive methods—slapping, screaming, electric shocks—featured in Life magazine’s 1965 “Screams, Slaps and Love.” Though Lovaas later removed punitive methods, critics argue ABA still focuses on “eradicating Autistic behavior” rather than supporting Autistic people. Hari Srinivasan reported being trapped in repetitive ABA lessons for years despite sensory dysregulation and oral-motor apraxia making traditional ABA ineffective. However, some Autistic people like Amy Gravino pursue ABA careers, believing they can bring Autistic perspectives into the field. By 2017, 46 states and DC required insurance coverage of ABA, though the core tension remains: should therapy normalize Autistic people or support their well-being as Autistic people?

Healthcare System Failures for Autistic Adults: Diagnostic Bias, Dismissal, and Systemic Breakdown

Lydia Wayman’s story exemplifies systemic breakdown. In 2012, she developed gastroparesis (stomach paralysis), autonomic dysfunction, and erythromelalgia (“man on fire syndrome”—painful blood vessel dilation). Her Medicaid waiver required goal-building activities incompatible with severe illness, causing her to lose coverage. She fell into a “crack that isn’t supposed to exist”—too medically complex for adult autism waivers, ineligible for physical disability waivers because her “primary” diagnosis was autism. She spent 15 months in a nursing home not designed for her needs. Worse, her primary care physician dismissed her symptoms as attention-seeking because she was “too happy to be sick” and possessed too much medical knowledge.

The Solution Through Advocacy: When Lydia contacted Dr. Arvind Venkat, an emergency physician who published on autism in emergency departments, interventions transformed her care. The ED now limits staff interactions, dims lights, speaks softly, asks before touching, waits for answers, and allows her mother’s presence while speaking directly to Lydia as capable. “Night and day” improvement resulted. However, Venkat notes medical schools provide little autism training; emergency departments are “purposely designed [as if] for people with ASD, you could not do worse. It is loud. There’s bright fluorescent lighting.”

Relationships, Sexuality, and the Myth of “Autistic Lack of Empathy”

Multiple studies refute the stereotype that Autistic people lack empathy. Chris and Cori Williams, both Autistic, married in 2007 after meeting online in 2004. Both recognize benefits to their shared neurology while acknowledging they are neurodivergent to different degrees. They have three Autistic children and demonstrate that Autistic people form lasting partnerships based on mutual understanding. Cori noted Autistic people “sometimes have this need for sameness,” attracting them to each other’s “quirkiness.”

Chris struggled with how much of himself to reveal even in previous relationships. With Cori, he felt authentic reciprocity allowed them to “settle into each other very quickly.” Cori wore a mask in her England relationship, reinventing herself; she later asked Chris, “Did you fall for my mask in some ways?” Attempting not to “seem Autistic” on dates means constantly monitoring stim behavior (fidgeting, eye contact avoidance), information dumping on topics, and deciding what version of yourself to present. The critical insight: masking exhausts Autistic people and prevents authentic connection; relationships thrive when both partners can be themselves.

Consent, Sex Education, and the Sexual Abuse Crisis

Autistic people are often infantilized, receiving no sex education despite having sexual desires. A Belgium/Netherlands survey found half of 43 parents didn’t know their Autistic sons had masturbated or experienced orgasm. Lindsey Nebeker, development specialist at the Autism Society of America, notes Autistic people “tend to learn differently,” requiring curriculum designed specifically for them. However, she is a survivor of sexual abuse by a high school teacher, as are disproportionately high numbers of Autistic people. A 2016 study of 14 Autistic women diagnosed later in life found more than half experienced sexual abuse, often feeling “obliged” or “gradually pestered” into sex, uncertain they could refuse.

This reflects a systemic failure: the same lack of education about sexuality that leaves Autistic people unprepared for healthy relationships also leaves them vulnerable to exploitation. Autistic people are less likely to recognize boundary violations and more likely to comply with unwanted contact out of social obligation.

LGBTQ+ Representation in Autism: Higher Rates, Compounded Erasure, and Intersectional Harm

A 2018 Autism Research study of 309 Autistic and 310 typically developing individuals found 69.7% of Autistic people reported being nonheterosexual (vs. 30.9% of typical group), with higher bisexuality, homosexuality, and asexuality rates. Yet media focus on Autistic men erases queer Autistic people’s dual identities. A 2014 Archives of Sexual Behavior study found gender variance 7.59 times more common in Autistic participants; a 2019 LGBT Health study found Autistic-diagnosed children four times more likely to experience gender dysphoria.

Historical Trauma: Ole Ivar Lovaas—who pioneered ABA with electric shocks—also ran UCLA’s Feminine Boy Project, “treating” a five-year-old “Kirk Murphy” (real name) by rewarding masculine play with praise/poker chips and punishing feminine behavior with spankings. Kirk later joined the Air Force to mask his homosexuality and killed himself in 2003; his brother blamed the treatment trauma. Efforts to force Autistic conformity and LGBTQ+ conformity to heteronormativity share identical DNA—both are attempts to eliminate “deviance” through coercive normalization.

Gender Identity, Diagnosis Bias, and the Camouflaging Crisis

Diagnostic Bias Toward Males: Autism affects cisgender men at higher reported rates (26.6 per 1,000 boys vs. 6.6 per 1,000 girls per CDC), but this reflects diagnostic bias, not biology. Leo Kanner’s original 1943 research included only 3 girls of 11 subjects. Hans Asperger (1944) called autism “an extreme variant of male intelligence” and studied no girls. Simon Baron-Cohen’s 2002 “extreme male brain theory” posited male brains “systemize” (autism trait) while female brains “empathize” (falsely claiming Autistic people lack empathy). Diagnostic criteria themselves are gendered: “special interests” examples cite cars/trains (boy-coded) not ponies (girl-coded), so a boy’s train obsession signals autism while a girl’s One Direction fandom doesn’t.

Camouflaging and Hidden Struggles: A 2016 Autism study found women had higher camouflaging scores than men. Liane Holliday Willey noted Autistic women blend easier because “society makes excuses for our wanting to be alone or not wanting to go to a dance.” She was misdiagnosed with ADHD/OCD despite “throwing rocks, breaking windows, burning things, cutting myself”—hidden self-harm. A 2016 Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders study of 14 women diagnosed late found almost all experienced anxiety, depression, or eating disorders; many were dismissed by professionals about suspected autism.

Transgender and Nonbinary Autistic People: Freedom from Arbitrary Norms and Compounded Discrimination

Eryn Star (they/them, nonbinary) experienced verbal abuse from a choir director who knew they were disabled. Their high school trauma and others’ attempts to regulate their gendered presentation complicated their gender identity. When performing male roles, their performance anxiety disappeared; “My brain was like, ‘Maybe you and your gender need to have a chat.’” Charlie Garcia-Spiegel noted Autistic people “often don’t pay attention to the same set of societal norms” and thus “can see that a lot of the social rules around gender are bullshit, basically.” However, transgender Autistic people face compounded discrimination. Transphobic and ableist rhetoric—including J.K. Rowling’s claims of a “4400% increase in girls being referred for transitioning treatment” with “Autistic girls hugely overrepresented”—implies Autistic people are incompetent, confused victims of delusion.

Parenting and Reproductive Autonomy: Infantilization and the Anti-Natalist Bias

Edward Ritvo’s 1988 paper “Eleven Possibly Autistic Parents” required “Possibly” in the title or it would have been rejected—“Nobody believed Autistic people could grow up and marry and have children.” Judith Newman’s 2016 book To Siri with Love stated, “I do not want Gus to have children,” citing her Autistic son’s “solipsism” preventing him from understanding others’ needs—infantilizing him and assuming he cannot comprehend caring for someone. Autistic writer Kaelan Rhywiol vomited reading this and “cried myself to sleep.”

A 2014 Iowa Supreme Court case involved a mother arranging a vasectomy for her 21-year-old Autistic son Stuart without court approval (later ruled illegal). Yet Chris and Cori Williams demonstrate Autistic parenting excellence: their awareness of autism makes them attentive to children’s needs and fierce advocates, while Cori emphasizes “assumption of intelligence and competence necessary in raising her” nonspeaking daughter Cassidy Luna—“We don’t have any idea what she’s capable of yet.”

Race, Diagnosis, and the Persistent Racism in Autism Recognition

The White Archetype Problem: Autism’s public image is shaped almost entirely by white representation in media and research, creating a dangerous “perpetual child” perception that only extends to white Autistic people. This archetype traces back to Leo Kanner’s 1943 foundational study, which included only white children from wealthy families. Kanner explicitly stated that “all but three of the families” were represented in Who’s Who in America or American Men of Science, implying autism only affected the upper classes. This myth persists despite being scientifically unfounded.

Diagnostic Gap: Statistical Evidence: A 2007 study found African American children had 2.6 times the odds of receiving alternative diagnoses (adjustment disorder, conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder) instead of autism compared to white children. Black children are 5.1 times more likely to be diagnosed with adjustment disorder than ADHD, and 2.4 times more likely to receive conduct disorder diagnoses. Critically, when Black and Hispanic children are diagnosed, it happens later: Black children at 7.9 years versus white children at 6.3 years. This delay compounds disadvantage as undiagnosed Autistic children receive no services.

Language and Access Barriers: For Latino immigrants and English-language learners, diagnosis becomes even more elusive. A 2013 study of California pediatricians found only 17.7 percent offered general developmental screenings in Spanish and only 28.7 percent offered autism spectrum disorder screenings in Spanish—despite autism diagnosis requiring communication assessment. Most assessment instruments aren’t validated in Spanish, meaning clinicians use tools “we don’t know how good they are.”

Intersectional Identity and Compounding Invisibility: Autistic people of color face a unique burden: proving they are “sufficiently” Autistic to clinicians while simultaneously proving they are “sufficiently” Black, Latino, or otherwise nonwhite to their communities. Morénike Giwa Onaiwu, chairwoman of the Autistic Women and Nonbinary Network’s Committee on Autism and Ethnicity, describes the experience as trying to “participate in [their] own culture while also feeling completely out of place.” Timotheus Gordon, a Black Autistic man from Chicago, felt compelled to prove he was sufficiently masculine and Black by engaging with hip-hop and sports, spending years masking before meeting other Autistic people.

Police Violence and the Racialized Dangers of Autistic Traits

A 2017 study found 20 percent of Autistic people had been stopped and questioned by police by age twenty-one, with 5 percent arrested. Autistic people of color face lethal consequences when their neurotype intersects with racialized policing. Stephon Watts, a fifteen-year-old Black Autistic boy, was killed by police in Calumet City, Illinois, in 2012 after police claimed he lunged with a steak knife (family said it was a butter knife); courts ruled in favor of police. Ricardo Hayes, an eighteen-year-old unarmed Black Autistic man, was shot by Chicago police in 2017; dashcam footage captured the shooting. Elijah McClain, a young man in Aurora, Colorado, was killed in August 2019 after police stopped him for “acting weird” and “waving his arms around.”

Why Autistic Traits Become Threats: A 2014 American Psychological Association study found that young Black boys are “perceived to be older than they are and are viewed as less innocent than their white counterparts.” Autistic behaviors—stimming mistaken for reaching for weapons, lack of eye contact interpreted as disrespect, echolalia perceived as evasiveness—compound this danger exponentially. Charles Kinsey, Black behavioral aide, was shot by Miami police while lying on the ground with hands raised, trying to de-escalate a situation involving Arnaldo Rios-Soto, Latino Autistic man who had wandered from care with only a toy truck.

Police Training Gaps: Recent efforts to address police-autism interactions have included mandatory training in some states. In 2017, a year after Charles Kinsey’s shooting, Florida passed legislation requiring autism training for police. However, a 2016 study found 23 percent of surveyed police agencies had not mandated autism training. Illinois began mandating autism training for new officers in 2008, yet the Stephon Watts shooting occurred four years after the law passed.

Practical Strategies & Techniques

Understanding and Rejecting the Deficit Narrative

The foundational practical shift is internal: rejecting the premise that autism is a tragedy requiring cure. For newly diagnosed Autistic adults, this often means unlearning years of internalized shame. The neurodiversity paradigm provides language: autism is a different neurotype, not a defective one. This reframing transforms how you approach every decision, from healthcare to employment to relationships. Instead of asking “How can we make them seem normal?” ask “How can environments and systems adapt to their needs?”

Advocating for Accommodation and Accessible Environments

In educational settings, request specific accommodations: sensory-friendly testing environments, extended time, permission for movement, access to notes. In employment, negotiate workspace setup (noise-canceling headphones, dim lighting, quiet break spaces), flexible meeting formats, clear written communication. In healthcare, request appointments with autism-aware providers, bring a trusted person, provide written symptom descriptions, request sensory modifications. The critical practice: Ask Autistic people what they need. Different Autistic people need different things.

Building Authenticity in Relationships

For Autistic people in relationships, the practical shift is reducing masking—the exhausting performance of neurotypicality. This requires identifying which behaviors feel “fake” and gradually revealing more authentic self to trusted people. Finding partners who accept your authentic self may mean expanding dating pools beyond neurotypical-centered spaces—Autistic communities, disability spaces, LGBTQ+ spaces. For parents or partners of Autistic people: never punish or suppress stimming, accept unusual communication styles, accommodate sensory needs.

Accessing Neurodiversity-Affirming Healthcare

Search specifically for “neurodiversity-affirming” practitioners; ask if they view autism as a different neurotype or as pathology. When meeting new providers, be explicit about your needs and communication style; bring written symptom descriptions; request sensory accommodations. For significant health issues, consider seeking evaluation at academic medical centers or specialists with published work on autism and the specific condition.

Using Community-Based Resources and Peer Support

Autistic self-advocacy networks, online Autistic communities, disability rights organizations, and peer support groups provide knowledge and connection that formal services often lack. Seek out Autistic-led organizations (ASAN, the Autistic Women and Nonbinary Network, local autism peer groups); join online communities; attend neurodiversity conferences or workshops; connect with other Autistic people—their lived experience is invaluable expertise.

Key Takeaways

1. Misinformation drives policy more than data, with devastating consequences: For decades, false theories shaped autism discourse and policy spending priorities. 75% of federal research funds target “causes” and “cures” while only 6% support actual services Autistic people need, reflecting how bad information produces harmful policy outcomes.

2. Autistic people have been systematically excluded from conversations about autism: From Leo Kanner through Autism Speaks’ first decade, experts, parents, and researchers dominated autism discourse without Autistic input, perpetuating stigma and preventing Autistic people from accessing the disability rights movement.

3. The “high-functioning” binary obscures both invisible struggles and actual capability: Labels suggesting some Autistic people are “less disabled” delegitimize the needs of Autistic people who can pass while falsely presuming incompetence in nonspeaking Autistic people.

4. Employment barriers reflect discrimination and poor system design, not inability: 75-85% of college-educated Autistic adults remain unemployed or underemployed despite capability, indicating that the problem is ableist hiring and inadequate workplace inclusion.

5. Subminimum-wage labor under Section 14(c) perpetuates segregation while devaluing disabled work: Allowing disabled workers to earn pennies per hour, this 86-year-old law treats disabled labor as inherently worth less. Vermont’s elimination achieved an 80% transition rate and 38% integrated-employment rate, proving alternatives work.

6. Parent-centered advocacy without Autistic input can enable abuse: When parents frame autism as tragedy without Autistic people’s counter-narrative, desperation justifies extreme measures—from shock therapy to murder cases treated with sympathy for perpetrators.

7. Relationships, sexuality, and gender expression are genuine aspects of Autistic life: The myth that Autistic people lack empathy or cannot love is definitively false; Autistic couples successfully navigate relationships through explicit communication and mutual understanding.

8. Autistic women are dramatically underdiagnosed due to male-biased diagnostic criteria and higher camouflaging rates: Almost all women diagnosed late experienced anxiety, depression, or eating disorders; many engaged in hidden self-harm. This represents a massive public health failure.

9. Autistic people of color face compounding invisibility and danger: Black and brown Autistic children are diagnosed later or misdiagnosed with behavioral disorders. Autistic traits are criminalized when exhibited by people of color, with police perceiving them as threats rather than disabilities.

10. Supported decision-making and community living models preserve dignity while providing necessary support: Over 700,000 people wait for HCBS waivers enabling community living; guardianship laws strip rights from high-support-needs Autistic adults; yet alternatives exist and work.

11. Justice requires centering Autistic agency in all policy and practice: Mel Baggs’s statement—“There are people being tortured, people dying because they are considered non-persons”—articulates what’s at stake. Policy affecting Autistic people must include Autistic people in decision-making, regardless of communication method.