The Teacher’s Introduction to Pathological Demand Avoidance
This guide provides educators with a comprehensive framework for understanding and supporting students with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), a profile of autism characterized by anxiety-driven avoidance of everyday demands. The book’s central premise challenges traditional behavior management approaches, replacing control-based strategies with collaboration, flexibility, and demand reduction.
What makes this work distinctive is its fundamental reframing of non-compliance not as defiance, but as a neurological anxiety response where compliance becomes physically impossible—the “can’t help won’t” framework. The author presents a complete ecosystem of classroom strategies grounded in the PANDA approach (Prioritize demands, Anxiety management, Negotiation, Disguising demands, Adaptation), backed by real-world implementation from Spectrum Space school.
The book offers several counter-intuitive positions that challenge conventional educational wisdom: that traditional praise and reward systems are counterproductive for PDA students, that visual schedules can function as relentless demand-sequences rather than helpful structure, and that eliminating most demands creates more capacity for learning than enforcing them does. Throughout, the author emphasizes practical implementation over theory, providing specific language examples, classroom organization systems, and documentation templates while repeatedly acknowledging that PDA remains controversial and unrecognized in DSM-5/ICD-11 diagnostic manuals.
Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is characterized by persistent avoidance of everyday demands to a degree that interferes with daily functioning, rooted in anxiety rather than willful non-compliance or sensory aversion. Unlike typical refusal, the avoidance in PDA represents an inability—“can’t help won’t”—where demands trigger such intolerable anxiety that compliance becomes physically impossible.
Key Characteristics of PDA
Core features include surface sociability with strategic behavior to avoid demands, mood lability, impulsivity, comfort with role-play and pretend play (sometimes with blurred reality/fantasy lines), obsessional behaviors often focused on people rather than objects, passive early developmental history, and language delay with subsequent catch-up development.
The critical distinction from other autism presentations is that PDA avoidance is anxiety-driven rather than sensory-based or oppositional. Traditional behavior management approaches typically worsen symptoms because they represent adult control and hidden agendas.
Origins and Recognition
First identified by developmental psychologist Elizabeth Newson in the 1980s, PDA emerged from her observations of children whose autism presentations didn’t fit typical patterns. By 2003, she had documented 150 cases. While controversial and not included in DSM-5 or ICD-11, the PDA Society describes it as a profile of autism rather than a separate diagnosis.
The “Can’t Help Won’t” Framework
The central principle of PDA is understanding that non-compliance signals escalating anxiety, not defiance. When a student with PDA avoids demands, they are experiencing a neurological phenomenon where anxiety makes compliance physically impossible, not a behavioral choice. This framework completely shifts the adult’s role from behavior enforcer to anxiety manager and demand reducer.
The PANDA Strategy Framework
The PDA Society recommends the PANDA mnemonic as an organizing framework for support:
P - Prioritizing Demands: Identify which demands are truly necessary versus optional. Keep only essential requirements as non-negotiable (safety and legal compliance), make medium-priority items genuinely optional without subtle pressure, and eliminate low-priority demands entirely.
A - Anxiety Management: Recognize that non-compliance signals escalating anxiety. Rather than responding with firmer language or consequences, de-escalate by reducing demands. Document anxiety indicators (key phrases, volume/tone changes, movement alterations, social withdrawal, increased sensory sensitivity), triggers (specific places, people, sensory stimuli, particular demands, times of day), and preventative strategies.
N - Negotiation and Collaboration: Work with students rather than imposing solutions. Frame learning as collaborative problem-solving, position students as helpers or experts, and genuinely involve them in decision-making about their support.
D - Disguising Demands: Present requests as invitations, questions, collaborative problems, or open-ended explorations rather than direct commands. Use indirect explicit communication, offer genuine choices, avoid saying “no,” and employ humor, mystery, and novelty strategically.
A - Adaptation: Modify approaches based on individual needs and responses. Maintain consistency with rules that are truly non-negotiable, but remain flexible with methods of delivery and timing.
Demand Reduction and Prioritization
The author introduces the video game lives analogy: if a student can only tolerate five demands daily, don’t waste them on low-value items like pen color or date formatting. Schools typically issue dozens of demands daily—uniform requirements, assembly attendance, sitting still, finishing work, using specific colors or tools—that create overwhelming anxiety for students with PDA.
Three-Tier Demand Classification
Non-negotiable demands encompass only safety and legality. These are absolute rules maintained consistently every single day. At Spectrum Space, only four non-negotiable rules were enforced. Specificity matters—address genuine safety or legal concerns without arbitrary behavioral expectations.
Medium-priority demands should be made genuinely optional without subtle pressure. Suggest gently rather than insist. Avoid inconsistency—saying something is optional then subtly pressuring compliance increases anxiety more than clear non-negotiable rules.
Low-priority demands should be eliminated entirely. Strip away expectations about pen color, date formatting, worksheet completion methods, handwriting neatness. Remove peripheral requirements that schools default to without questioning actual importance.
Depersonalizing Rules
Attribute non-negotiable rules to external authorities rather than personal preference. Use “The government says we have to…” instead of “I need you to…” or “The health and safety rules mean…” instead of personal directives. This removes the power dynamic from rule enforcement and reduces perception of adult control.
Communication Strategies
The Colleague Rule instructs teachers to speak to students as they would respectfully address a coworker, not with direct commands. This isn’t about being permissive—it’s about linguistic choices that reduce the perception of demand.
Low-demand explicit communication examples include offering choices (“Writing or drawing first?”), wondering aloud (“I wonder who knows the answer?”), inviting collaboration (“I’m struggling with this—could you help?”), and posing open questions (“What might we do next?”).
When non-compliance occurs, instead of repeating instructions louder or with more firmness, de-escalate by reducing demands, offer choice, provide distraction, or use positive redirection (“You can do that at breaktime” rather than “No, not now”).
Traditional praise and reward systems are counterproductive for students with PDA because they signal hidden agendas, create pressure to repeat behavior to earn rewards, feel patronizing or controlling, and add to anxiety about external control. Instead, use simple acknowledgment (“Thanks for that”) and build intrinsically rewarding activities into daily routines.
Learning and Academic Approaches
Academic learning is possible through child-led, interest-based approaches that prioritize targets over content. Be target-focused, not content-focused—if a student ignores suggested activities but achieves the learning objective through their chosen method, that’s success.
Invitations to Learn
Invitations to Learn are low-demand, open-ended activities that allow students to explore at their own pace without direct instruction or visible adult agenda. Key characteristics include preserving student autonomy, eliminating sense of obligation, allowing adults to collaborate rather than instruct, and scaling from large (whole-table activities) to small (contained tasks).
Examples include Healthy Living Spinners (selecting and discussing health topics without teacher direction), Messy Multiplication (finding creatures hidden in sensory materials to explore multiplication), Skeleton Shapes (building 3D structures from straws and putty), and Correcting Teacher Mistakes (positioning students as expert correctors).
Flexible Planning Documents
Create flexible planning documents that suggest activities but remain open to student redirection, break termly learning targets into small-step objectives, allow learning support staff authority to adapt plans while maintaining target focus, and measure progress using running records and photographs linked to targets.
Environmental and Practical Considerations
The author introduces the “tolerance dial” concept—a rough estimate of each student’s current capacity to handle demands. Consider factors affecting tolerance: environment (sensory processing profile, time of year), stress level (what happened before school, current events), relationship with the adult (new staff member vs. familiar), time of day (morning vs. end-of-day fatigue), and overall fatigue.
When tolerance is very low, restrict demands to safety and legality only. As tolerance increases, gradually introduce reminders about kindness, then wisdom, then new learning.
Reducing Hidden Demands
Schools typically stack demands before lessons begin: line up when hearing bells, stay silent in line, walk quietly, hang coats, sit at desks, take out equipment, write names and dates. Each represents a demand that fills the student’s anxiety tolerance before meaningful learning can occur. Spread these throughout the day or make them optional.
Safe Spaces
Create safe spaces within or outside the classroom (library, special needs space, pastoral support space) where students can access alternatives without question and stay as long as needed. Communicate these arrangements to all staff.
Social Understanding and Development
The upskilling approach treats students as adults-in-training, recognizing that social skills like listening attentively, asserting needs calmly, considering others’ perspectives, teamwork, managing emotions, and conflict resolution are lifelong learning processes for everyone.
Secondary Socialization
Use task-focused collaboration rather than direct social skills teaching. Team-building challenges like “Save Fred” (using paperclips to rescue a gummy worm), “Tall Towers” (building height structures from unusual materials), “Egg Parachute” challenges, and enterprise projects where students develop products and manage interactions.
Friendship Facilitation
For students needing direct friendship support, consider pen pal arrangements with other students, having students design their own board games, playing “host” in social situations (parties, study room visits), and regular hosting practice, even one-to-one with another student.
Anxiety Management and Distressed Behavior
Develop comprehensive anxiety management plans including indicators of anxiety (key phrases, volume/tone changes, movement changes, altered social interactions, increased sensory sensitivity), causes/triggers (specific places, people, sensory stimuli, particular demands, times of day like transitions), and preventative strategies (ensure all staff understand the child’s needs, build key staff relationships for early intervention, reduce demands to agreed priorities, use indirect demand presentation, offer 2-3 activity choices, maintain child-led flexible curriculum).
Types of Distressed Behavior
Unsafe behavior (immediately dangerous): Move other people away rather than restraining, stay calm with controlled voice and body language, follow school policies, carry alert cards explaining the situation.
Unlawful behavior (would be illegal if done by adults): Respond similarly to unsafe behavior in the moment. During reflection, ascertain awareness of seriousness. Use problem-solving collaboration rather than blame.
Unkind behavior (hurtful to others): Don’t acknowledge the unkind comment, redirect to alternative behaviors, later reflect using problem-solving, consider welfare roles if student thrives on responsibility.
Unwise behavior (not unsafe/unlawful/unkind): Often can be released entirely. If patterns develop, offer genuine choices—both options should be positive experiences.
Early Warning Signs
Warning signs like refusing tasks, tearing up work, or storming out should prompt observation (“I see you don’t want this task”), thinking aloud (“I’m wondering what activity suits you”), and choices (“Reading or card sort?”) rather than pushing and re-demands, which prevents anxiety escalation.
Special Considerations
Masking occurs when students suppress distress at school but display significant behavior problems at home—the “fawning” response to anxiety. This is dangerous because pent-up distress can lead to harmful behavior at home and damages mental health. Parents reporting anxiety before/after school or weekend patterns signal masking. Prevention strategies include regular opportunities to identify and release negative emotions, journaling, drawing, worry logs, exercise, calming activities built into class schedules, and school-home explicit communication to identify masking patterns.
School Refusal
School refusal reflects anxiety about school, not willful choice. The PDA Society’s 2018 survey found 70% of children with PDA were out of school or regularly struggling to attend. Response strategies include collaborative family meetings with shared problem-solving tone, identifying barriers through discussion of difficult times, academic level, social environment, sensory processing issues, maintaining school-family relationships through reframing goals, continuing low-demand optional learning linked to classroom topics, home visits by trusted staff members, and mental health support when anxiety significantly interferes with daily function.
Self-care and Mealtime Support
Traditional lunchtime creates excessive simultaneous demands. Consider abolishing mandatory lunchtimes in favor of grazing plates. In traditional settings, provide quiet classroom options, ensure full food options available when student reaches queue, allow non-food activities during meals to reduce pressure.
For water access, place water bottles directly on tables, avoid prompting (which adds demand), maximize choice through different bottle styles or quirky straws, use humor and novelty to shift focus from “demand” to entertainment. For self-care routines, teach table manners and skills through separate, playful activities, offer choice in toiletries and personal care products, provide low-demand alternatives like wet wipes or hand sanitizer.
Documentation and Planning
Pen portraits are short, accessible documents (one to two pages) shared with all staff describing student’s likes, dislikes, triggers, effective strategies and what to avoid, co-created with parents and updated regularly.
Care plans document support for self-care tasks, breaking down by category: toileting, washing, dressing, eating, drinking, best prompting methods (direct instructions rarely work), choices the student needs, and sensory processing accommodations required.
Explicit communication plans document what the student says and what it means, phrases staff should use, alternative explicit communication methods, and whether visual symbols support or trigger anxiety.
Education Health and Care Plans (EHCPs) should write Section A one-page profiles emphasizing PDA strategies, explicitly mention demand avoidance in Section B, target learning objectives behind demands rather than compliance, and link specific PDA strategies to each outcome.
Classroom Organization
Create independent learning systems where students can independently manage their day. First activity involves selecting resources and timetable for the day. Physical organization uses trays in wheeled units or expanding folders. Instructions in low-demand explicit communication with mystery or surprise elements. Voice recorders or recordable buttons for non-readers.
Convey choices discreetly through annotations on worksheets (“You might choose to write here or highlight in text”), laminated dry-erase frames around worksheets with suggestion arrows, and sticky-note annotations that prompt engagement without drawing attention.
Personalized timetables are set first thing upon arrival, resources for all daily lessons available in accessible systems, student independence in choosing order and timing, and safe spaces clearly communicated to all staff.
Adaptations for Traditional Settings
Even without dedicated support, implement demand reduction across the day, use low-demand explicit communication consistently, create invitations to learn that multiple students can access, establish safe spaces for movement and choice, and communicate strategies to all staff including supply teachers.
For fairness and inclusivity, introduce that different students need different accommodations through “All About Me” worksheets for all students. When students claim “It’s not fair,” respond with personalization. Many PDA-friendly strategies benefit all students: collaboration, problem-solving, choice boards, autonomy in completion methods.
Adapting Traditional Autism Strategies
Many evidence-based autism strategies increase anxiety for students with PDA. For visual schedules, instead of full schedules showing every minute as inflexible demands, create a “long-list” of possible activities, let students select a “short-list” they feel capable of completing, allow students to choose the order, or provide full schedule with veto power over activities.
For structured learning, make PDA-friendly by having adults complete tasks inaccurately and inviting students to correct mistakes, presenting workstation tasks as Invitations to Learn alongside peers’ structured work, and providing sticky-note feedback opportunities.
For written instructions, remove demand-like quality through novelty and mystery (sealed envelopes to assemble before following), adding “You may have a better idea: ___” at the bottom of instruction sheets, and using photographs or role-play showing mistakes for students to correct.
For sensory processing management, emphasize choice through sensory processing menus with options of calming/alerting activities, the “Feeling Turquoise” system for recognizing over/understimulation, and student-led selection of regulation activities.